So I’ve been in hiding for the past…however long it’s been, but after recent events, I’ve decided to deliver another blog entry, one aside from a short blurb about dreams with Lil Kim or the weird similarities between Eve and a talentless balheadit famewhore. Recent events being the death of a true inspiration. An icon. Whitney Houston. I may have mentioned previously the stance that I’d taken on Whitney in recent years, but just in case I haven’t, I’ll let you all know. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Whitney would enter my top 10 artists of all time for the simple reason that she is THE voice, she is a spirit and a talent that is so undeniably pure that even at her worst, the work from her first album slayed every possible criticism. However, shortly after the trainwreck of Being Bobby Brown, I decided that I would need to take a new position on my adoration of her. I decided to only admire her from afar, never truly abandoning her but…refraining from making an effort to follow her progression as an artist or even to defend her legacy as passionately as I probably should have. But as everyone knows, this past week we’ve seen the death of a woman whose influence over R&B and pop music alike cannot be summed up in words, and I feel it’s time I give her a proper tribute. So Whitney Houston, I love you.

Before I start to detail exactly why Whitney Houston’s death remains such a profoundly impacting event for me, and I’m sure millions of fans across the world, I’ll start by calling out something that I’ve never had a problem with before, but which has reached a critically offensive level as of late. This would be the practice of comparing the coverage that an icon such as Whitney Houston or Michael Jackson receives upon passing on, with that of an American soldier lost in war. First of all, I’d like to make it clear that I totally understand the mentality that comes behind this idea, but I find that it ultimately reflects exactly what it appears to be trying to prevent. As others have mentioned, the very fact that it is only when a celebrity passes away that the fatalities of war become “relevant” to being discussed, mars the entire idea of the movement. Is there some law that says that grieving has a capacity or a common place? Why is it only when someone whose affected millions with her voice, who has changed an entire generation of music, passes on that we must try and divert attention towards others who have lost their lives? For me, it only appears to give into the idea that one life is ultimately more valuable than another one, as supporters of this idea appear to suggest that Whitney, who will now infamously be known as one who was unable to overcome the disease of addiction, is somehow undeserving of celebration of a life which touched so many. Additionally, this behavior always leaves me in such a bad state because it seems that by fighting for the recognition that every soldier deserves for giving up their life for their country, supporters are inherently morphing the death of a woman whose music touched millions of fans, who became known for an incomparable spirit and who leaves behinds a world of fans, friends and close family, into little more than today’s “hot topic.”

And now, as the day of her service comes to a close, I’d like to remember Whitney at her very best. A woman whose voice was able to lift our spirits, to break our hearts, to inspire a nation and to remind us all that an icon will always be an icon. Many will remember her for the struggles which ultimately led to her death: the turbulent marriage, the consistent drug use and the personal struggles that caused Whitney to lose her voice and her place at the very top of the Pop Court. But I think that anyone who has heard any song, who has ever seen an interview or who has ever seen her grace the screen, knows that there was certainly more to Whitney Houston than the demons which plagued her at the height of fame. She was an icon. She was an inspiration. She was someone whose optimism was unbreakable, whose voice created a diary that had an entry for everyone, who never stopped fighting to deliver the very best for all of her fans and for herself. Her place in the industry is that of a true icon, and there’s nothing that can every be done to change that; every Whitney record stands as a testament to that, from Whitney Houston to I Look To You. Her character was one of true brilliance, filled with unparalleled faith, determination and love of life. There will has never been and will never be another Whitney, and even as she leaves us, the world she leaves behind is one that will be forever reminded of her impact.

She has been an undeniable gift to the world of music and one that will never be forgotten. A voice that will forever go without comparison and a woman has had so much life and so much love to give all of those who have surrounded her. Rest in peace Whitney. 

I had a dream last night that I tweeted Lil Kim asking her if I could interview her for a possible documentary on her life (idk don’t judge) and then she was super amazing and told me that she was getting married and filming a TV show to go along with it and that I should fly to Hawaii where the wedding was going to take place and do the interview there. It was so beautiful. 

Flawless bitch is flawless tbh.

Does anyone else notice that Amber Rose is literally a carbon copy of Eve, devoid of any talent outside of the sack with twice the famewhore? It’s like Philly tried to recreate the magic of Eve’s late 90s bleached damn near balheadit self but conveniently left out the ability to do anything.  

Why did that stank get to go and be in LV ad campaigns and shit, while we can’t even get a fourth album from E.V.E. 

Whatever, she’s flawless.

*Listens to Gangsta Lovin*

On a recent appearance on The Wendy Williams Show, Ms. Norwood demonstrated once more just how much of a classy broad she truly is. Not only does she continue to look and sound fantastic, but the way that she handles her PR is something that lesser heaux need to take note of. I’m sorry, but I would like to see your fave handle all that she has while throwing NO shade towards anyone and even reaching out to the tragic famewhore that has made an existence off of sucking an R&B superstar’s little brother’s pee pee. I swear, if Wendy Williams goes on to trashtalk Brandy like she does almost everyone who has ever stepped foot on her set, I WILL be the one to do the long overdue wig-snatching of that vile “queen of all media.” But for now, I will continue to bask in Brandy’s rays of positivity, count down the days until May when her album is due and remind myself why being a Brandy stan is so rewarding. 

*Listens to Human with no shame*

(Picture Souce: miniboombox)

Well folks, here we are. The legacy lives on. Beyonce gave birth to a daughter, Blue Ivy Carter just minutes ago after renting out an entire floor of the hospital like a true bad bitch. What’s 1.3 million for the offspring of iconic figures in R&B and hip hop? Nothing, that’s what. So now all the haters can hop off her dick and we have something to look forward to for at least the next 18 years until that child is grown and can continue her parent’s legacy. Congratulations Queen Bey and King Jay, your loyal subjects rejoice in the continuation of your royal line. 

Here we are. We’ve taken a retrospective look at the triumphs and not so triumphs of 2011, but now it’s time to look at the straight up flops of 2011. To qualify for this position, an artist must have flaunted her basicity either in commercial, critical or personal embarrassments that made 2011 a year that will be remembered as her own falling off the tracks. Whether it was being overrated up and through the media, failing to be able to produce a reputable album despite 6 years of development, throwing shade or just looking a damn fool for the world to see, 2011 was certainly a year of the basic bitch rearing her ugly head and forcing everyone to regard the trainwreck that is her life. Some of these events are actually based off of success; others would sell the weaves off their heads and pop their pussies into a cactus for another shot at being even somewhat relevant. It’s the sad truth that where there are bad bitches, there are certainly going to be bum bitches but what are you going to do?

Katy Perry gets worldwide commercial acclaim despite being basic as shit.

As I have discussed previously, there is nothing that says album sales determine bad bitchery, with the prime example being the hot mess that is Katy Perry. She gets a mention on this list not because she hasn’t done well for herself, or really for anything she has even done at all, but primarily because 2011 saw unprecedented success from Ms. Perry with three #1 singles in the Top 10 as well as 69…count em, 69 consecutive weeks in the Top 10. Now, Katy Perry is usually largely inoffensive on her own and I can appreciate the catchiness of her singles. She also had Missy Elliott on a remix, and appears to loathe former American Idol troll and general basic bitch enthusiast Kara DioGuardi almost as much as I do. However, the fact that Katy Perry now goes down in music history for her commercial success in 2011 and her album Teenage Dream, which is perhaps the most average pop release that I can think of in recent history that has received this much buzz (other than maybe Flop This Way) has received FOUR Grammy nominations, makes me feel ill. Not to completely knock the girl’s swag, but recently she’s not even fulfilling her place as a basic bitch that looks good by looking a damn fool in public. She’ll have a strong collaboration once in a while, and seems to know how to put on a show but also needs to take a fucking seat because I really can’t with her completely average vocals and reliance on a catchy beat to get widespread success. I like her as a person, so in that respect I say good for her for achieving something, but with such high levels of basicity, it’s a hard pill to swallow. With perhaps the most sickly sweet, meaningless, bubblegum tripe to call itself a power anthem in recent years receiving a Grammy nomination for Record of the Year, 2011 will always mark the dark hours in which Katy Perry defied the odds, and any kind of standards, and was able to sell over 5,000,000 records off of some of her most incessant work to date.

Nicole Scherzinger flops harder than anyone thought she could

Nicole Scherzinger…how can I possibly begin to describe Nicole Scherzinger? She probably deserves a post of her own in terms of identifying one of the most unfortunate career developments I can think of in the past decade (rivaled only to Olivia), but 2011 saw her reach all time highs in terms of public embarrassment and all time lows in terms of hope for any kind of future as an artist. To understand the true significance of her floptastic 2011, it’s important to see the journey that got her there. Essentially the Head Skank in the Army of Skanks, Nicole first emerged from obscurity with the Pussycat Dolls where she took the “one-woman group” idea made popular by Destiny’s Child to new heights, essentially performing all of their songs on her own. Even still, she was unable to launch herself as a popular solo figure with a series of absolutely embarrassingly low charting singles and quickly fell back into obscurity after plans for her debut album folded. But as we’ve seen before, basic bitches have nothing to lose and will stop at nothing to achieve even a fleeting moment of notoriety. Consequently, Nicole proceeded to jump on every train to minor celebrity renewal there was: from Dancing With The Stars to guest spots on mainstream TV and finally to the cultivation of career revival…celebrity talent judging. Unfortunately, even amongst all this promotional hype, Nicole’s debut album Killer Love has gone unreleased in the US as she appears to be cowering in the face of the inevitable flop. Amongst a series of flop singles, the only exception being Right There which was carried entirely by a 50 Cent feature, and no US release in sight, it seemed like things couldn’t flop harder for Nicole’s attempt at a big break and then she went and crushed a 12 year old’s dreams. In one of the most uncomfortable moments on competitive reality TV I can recall, Nicole refused to vote on The X Factor, forcing the 13 year old fan favorite Rachel Crow to be eliminated, and  saw all chances of public approval fall to the ground faster than Rachel’s sobbing, heartbroken self. In what could be deemed a series of unfortunate events, Nicole’s attempts at a comeback were thoroughly stifled and she continues to be one of the most basic bitches in the contemporary R&B game, with generic music, constant pushbacks and ultimately the antithesis of star quality.

Keri Hilson stays mad

I’ve already discussed Keri’s stanknessness at length so this review will be a little shorter. Despite the fact that 2011 saw literally no triumphs for the Hilson as an artist, with the completely irrelevant Pretty Girl Rock being her only remote commercial success, Mizz Keri Baby stayed more pressed than we’d ever seen her, throwing the messiest shade at the woman who ended her career before it even started: Beyonce. The fact that Keri Hilson not only came at Queen Bey at every turn with NO new material, a string of uncharting flop singles and a downright pathetic WalMart tour, but that she did so in the most basic of ways marked 2011 as the year we saw Keri Hilson reach new lows. Even in attempts to throw shade, she couldn’t display even an inkling of boss bitch qualities as she made herself look a damn fool by skirting around her passionate jealousy instead of just embracing herself for the player hater she truly is. Hell, she couldn’t even hate on Ke$ha, the most basic of all basic bitches, properly. And that is a damn shame.

Lady Gaga is absolutely ridiculous

I tend to try and avoid discussing Lady Gaga primarily because I find it hard to contain my absolute disgust at her. To see someone go from producing a legitimately strong dance album to hailing themselves as Queen of the Weirdos and the biggest innovator to ever walk the face of the Earth despite the fact that there is evidence to suggest that NOTHING they do is actually original, is just a sad state of affairs. And so, when Gaga announced that her second full length studio album might be one of the best albums of the decade, naturally before it was even released, I had to go through three stress balls just to deal with the ensuing circlejerk from her groce stans. However, come the release of this fated project, I didn’t know whether to be elated or absolutely repulsed by what “the best album of the decade” had to offer. Despite the overwhelming commercial success of the project, it has failed to live up to the quality of Gaga’s work in the past and although it was critically well received, the majority of the track list is a series of songs which aspire too hard to be part of a future Greatest Hits album. For all of her ridiculous promotion, Born This Way, and its ensuing singles, were average at best despite the dickriding they received by her insipid fanbase. Similarly, Gaga herself proved to become even more of an annoyance this year with antics and constant reminders to us all that she’s down for every kind of person, using the gay community as a crutch and racial slurs in her music as a way to “empower” all peoples. So whether it was desperately trying to steal the spotlight from Britney Spears at award shows, creating 14 minute long music videos for flop singles, looking absolutely ridiculous just to be known as the singer who is absolutely ridiculous or creating even more of a God-complex than she already had, 2011 was certainly naht the year for Stefani.

Christina Aguilera loses her damn mind.

2011 can ultimately be summed up when everything is cut down to one tragic flop: Christina Aguilera. After releasing Bionic, which now serves as a euphemism for a complete debilitation of an artist’s  credibility, which boiled down to a complete and total flop, Xtina went on to completely fuck up the lyrics to the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, starting the year off in a decidedly low state of mind. With her personal drama to follow, it seemed likely that she would take a much needed break from the industry for at least a year or two and maybe rethink why the series of floptastic career moves that she executed began to slowly chip away at any legacy she may have had as a prominent pop artist. But she didn’t stop there. No, that would’ve been too easy. Aguilera catapulted herself into the legions of those itching for a comeback when she joined The Voice as a celebrity talent judge, and initially seemed to be at an OK place. She looked good, she did an adequate job at judging and even though she carries a constant “Eau de Condescending Stank”, she at least wasn’t whoring out any new potential flop music out to the world to ridicule. However, there came a point where any bets of a stable recovery from her ensuing status as a completely basic bitch were off when she performed in Wales for a Michael Jackson tribute concert. It seemed all those years of being an asshat to her fans finally got back to Floptina, as her downright unsettling appearance and Snooki-esque tacky factor turned all audience members to stone, like Medusa. It only got worse for Xtina, as she proudly displayed her new “curvy” figure with some of the most ill-fitted and poorly designed style choices of the entire year. Nothing against the chubbies, but for her to dress like she did on the Diiirtyyyy tour way back when now that she’s fat has all the signs of a flop bitch who has hit rock bottom. But perhaps most offensive of her series of rocky 2011 flops is the fact that she is indirectly responsible for Kelly Osbourne receiving even a miniscule of attention and that simply cannot be taken lightly. So as a whole, XXLtina is the quintessential 2011 flop, demonstrating all facets of losing any shred of legacy that may have remained.

So there you have it, the worst we saw in 2011. On this note, let us look forward to 2012 which offers some promising releases already as well as the expected delivery of Baby Jayonce, a child whose birth will undoubtedly make up for the career tragedies we saw in 2011 tenfold. May these tragic occurrences be seen as a warning for future generations of exactly how to avoid being a complete asshole, flop or basic bitch. 

So after a refreshing look at how the bad bitches of 2011 got it done, it’s time we move our focus to something a little darker. To qualify as a member of “The Bad”, one must first exhibit a moment of success or promise, because it ultimately means that something started out with promise and then somewhere down the road just fell off the wagon. Therefore, those in this category are not necessarily damned as we enter the New Year but need to regroup in order to conquer, and essentially ended off 2011 on the wrong side of the tracks. There were many examples of things going haywire this year as for many artists, a comeback or a come up seemed eminent at the start of the year but then something happened. A decrease in quality, a flop single or even a complete and utter case of going AWOL. Whatever the case was, the following artists must be looked at with sympathy because at the end of the day, 2011 wasn’t quite the year it could have been for them.

Jennifer Lopez’s Comeback Attempt

Prior to 2011, J.Lo’s celebrity status was on the cusp of being revoked with no new music, no new news and certainly no new success, with her 2007 album and 2009 single both flopping harder than we’d ever seen her flop before. I consider Jennifer Lopez to be a pretty basic bitch musically, but I really do enjoy her as a person so I’m not sure where that leaves her, however in terms of a career revival, I certainly did not expect to see one from Jenny from the block any time soon. However, with the announcement of her spot as a permanent judge on American Idol, and the fact that she looks damn good for her age, I realized that we could be seeing more of Miz Lopez in 2011 than we have in the better part of a decade. But I certainly did not foresee the unprecedented commercial success, and eventual complete whoring out, of On the Floor, which came out of nowhere and became her most successful single since 2002. With the massive success of On the Floor and the moderate success of her followup single I’m Into You, along with promotion in every which way from her place on the American Idol panel, one would expect that a total comeback for J.Lo was imminent with the release of her 7^th album, Love?. However, this comeback didn’t quite materialize. The album’s first week sales were a disappointing 86,000 considering the massive airplay of that damn single and it has thus far gone uncertified despite promotion out the ass from American Idol, the previously mentioned single successes AND her personal drama with Marc Anthony. But what’s most disappointing is the fact that the album was a critical splat, receiving mixed reviews almost unanimously. Unfortunately, 2011 proved to be the year for an almost comeback for Jennifer instead of the blast back onto the scene that she was hoping for. But don’t fret, because with her place on American Idol retained and colossal success of On the Floor, J.Lo’s 2011 musical flops were mostly outshined by the fact that she’s once more relevant to the public for something other than music from her debut.

Wiz Khalifa Burns Out

This is probably a slightly controversial placement, and for that reason, I’ll be very careful of my wording when describing this case. The reason I decided to include Wiz on this list as an example of 2011 not quite working out is because I look to how it started for him and then for how it ended, essentially what could have been. While it’s true that before January, most people had never heard of him and his debut album has sold over 600,000 copies this year, with the debut single Black and Yellow raking in two Grammy nominations, there are a few key details that make me think that this year could’ve launched Wiz into something even more than what it has. Think back to just a few months ago, and Wiz Khalifa was literally everywhere. From the commercial successes of both singles from his debut mainstream album, to his high profile relationship with famewhore/model Amber Rose to the endless stream of retweets and quoted Facebook statuses detailing every minute of his “genius.” In many ways, Khalifa was the anti-rapper to what the mainstream public had been leaning towards over the last few years, and as a result could have taken 2011 by the reigns and made it his bitch. However, looking around one year later, the last news of Wiz Khalifa is that his collaboration with Snoop Dogg for a movie soundtrack is predicted to flop. But commercial success is not really why I’m here, but rather as to comment on the fact that the heavily anticipated debut mainstream album from Wiz was a mostly critical flop, receiving widespread criticism for the lack of variation. It is here that I find the biggest problem with Wiz in 2011. He started off strong and had some great success as a singles artist initially, was hyped to hell and back by every teenager with a smart phone and started fucking the pass around that is Amber Rose but eventually just kind of fell off the boat and disappeared towards the end of the year. I’m sure this is not a damning career slump, because I also am sure that there are still some teenagers out there dickriding all of his tweets, but as a whole, 2011 didn’t quite take off for Wiz like it could have.

Nicki Minaj needs intervention.

In many ways, 2010 was the come up year for Nicki Minaj, as she received mainstream success as a featured artist on damn near everyone’s album with her own debut album demonstrating great pop-hop beats and generally solid flow in addition to being a commercial success. 2011 will go down as the year in which Onika’s success began to lean into overexposure as every other major rap record this year features a thirty second verse from the Harajuku Barbie herself and the megahit Super Bass made every man, woman and child want to do a cover of it in the hopes of becoming famous and going on Ellen. Now, I am a fan of Nicki and even today, I was listening to some solid Maraj tracks from as recent as 2009, but as I’ve noted before in this blog, a bad bitch intervention was needed. The very things that helped Nicki gain such widespread success soon became the very things that she was using against herself, as her verses and features became more and more like a parody of herself. There was certainly massive success for Nicki in 2011, as previously noted the single Super Bass went triple platinum in the United States and Australia, her debut album garnered her three Grammy nominations AND she went on tour with Queen Bitch of Pop, Britney Spears. However, with the increasingly childish shots at the woman who should honestly get royalties from Nicki’s success and a slump in quality material in both features and her own material, such as the insipid Stupid Hoe or the inane Roman in Moscow, 2011 wasn’t quite the year of Nicki domination that 2010 was. Certainly she was everywhere, but she let all the glitz and the glam and the Fashion Week cavorting get to her and the creative output has suffered, in addition to occasionally looking a hot ass mess. She’s still better than most of her pop counterparts and I look forward to seeing what her sophomore album brings because we’ve all seen that she can slay a track in both hardcore rap and pop-hop fusion, but right now, she’s on boss bitch probation. Also her stans are really annoying.

 So there you have it, the moments of 2011 that started off good but somewhere done the line just didn’t quite make it. You’ll come to see that these minor bumps in the road are minimal in comparison to what’s coming up next: The Ugly. Some artists succeeded in 2011 and retained their domination of bad bitchery, others had initial successes but didn’t quite end off the year in good graces and finally, there are some artists who ended up looking a damn fool the entire year with unwarranted praise for basic music, needless shade, delusions of impact and straight up ridiculous decision making. Stay tuned, because with any luck we’ll be on our way to leaving these trainwrecks behind. 

Last night we saw the end to 2011. As a whole, it was a year filled with comebacks, repetitive dance tracks and overexposure up and through the music industry, but one which also gave us great triumphs on bad bitch fronts as we saw domination and returns to the game from the usual suspects with a few pleasant surprises from previously thought underdogs.  As a whole, I have grouped major events from this year into three categories: the good, the bad and of course, the ugly. To clarify, I’ll briefly go over the qualifications to appear in each category. The good is simple and self-explanatory: a triumph of bad bitches and ballers which acted as a defining moment of the year. The bad is a little different, as it’s something which didn’t quite succeed but went awry somewhere along the lines. Nothing tragic and nothing to worry about in 2012, but a minor roadbump which must be noted. Then there is the ugly: the shit that was a complete and utter tragedy, disaster, catastrophe, etc. Now, as you’ll see, this can be on a personal, career or artistic level, but the overarching theme is that whatever happened, it acted as a stain on the industry in 2011. But before we venture into the dark areas of the Ugly, let’s first take a look at the good.

Beyonce Domination

I’ve already spoken at length at the Beyonce Empire and exactly how it has come to be AND why no trifling mess from basic hoes will even touch a fraction of it, but dammit, this year made that post almost unnecessary. Starting with the first single from her fourth album 4, Run The World has become known as a flop of sorts for Queen Bey, as it was her lowest charting solo record and came under criticism for its poor content. However, I’d just like to point out the fact that even in this position as a “flop”, the single still reached the top 30 on the Billboard Hot 100 and went gold or platinum in the United States, Australia and New Zealand. 4 also brought Beyonce her lowest first week sales…a whopping 310,000 copies in the first week with more than 1,100,000 albums being sold as of this post. It may appear confusing as to why Beyonce’s lack of complete and total destruction of the charts with her return to R&B in her fourth effort appears as a marked “good” of 2011 but the fact is it only went to serve as a reminder as to the solid foundation of her Empire. Even in her “most disappointing” effort yet, she was a critical success, boasting 8 music videos, a concert DVD and 2 Grammy nominations, even when surrounded by controversy over performing for Libyan dictators, stealing inspiration and faking a pregnancy, demonstrating once again the impenetrable force that is Beyonce Knowles.

Kelly Rowland Makes A Comeback

Prior to 2011, Kelly Rowland was a fading force in the United States R&B game, as her 2^nd effort failed to live up to the success of her debut record with Nelly in 2002, the Grammy winning Dilemma, and constant pushbacks made many expect her 3^rd album to head down the same path of terminal overlooking by the American public. However, Kelendria did the damn thing and burst right back onto the scene with the 2011 smash hit Motivation, reaching the top 20 of Billboard Hot 100 and the top 2 for the Billboard R&B Charts, eventually going platinum. But this was not the end for Kelly’s return to the spotlight, capitalizing on the success of Motivation with a judge position on Britain’s Got Talent and the release of her long awaited third album, which met general critical acclaim. While she didn’t quite dominate the scene after her initial blast back into relevance, Kelly did herself (and fans) a favor by reminding us all of what she’s capable of in 2011 and what we can all hope to see from her in 2012.

Take Care Is A Genuinely Good Album

Let’s be honest. White people have corrupted and completely overexposed Lil Wayne, and so even though Tha Carter IV was a strong effort, the pressure and expectation put on it made it fail to live up to the hype as Wayne proved himself unable to match the magic of Tha Carter III. So when it came time for Young Money protégé Drizzy Drake to release his second full length studio album, I was certainly hesitant to say the least with the amount of expectation and media buzz that it already received. While everything we’d heard from him in 2011 had been good, and Marvin’s Room proved that he could be more than just another whiny Canadian emo by showing legitimate emotional flow, the question was still in the air as to whether or not he album would live up to his standards. When the album did drop, to opening week sales of 600,000+ copies sold, I was relieved to find that while he strays further and further away from his assumed status as YMCM’s premiere rap talent, the album was a solid effort and boasts a track list which may be a little emotionally overwhelming but demonstrates some solid rap artistry and a profound and untapped potential as a future R&B force. If he could just get off the bizarre obsession with Aaliyah, then maybe I could confidently stand on his team.

Watch The Throne: Collaboration of the Year

This one I’ll keep nice and simple because at the end of the day there isn’t much to it. Arguably the greatest rapper alive today collaborating on an entire album with the most innovative and culturally polarizing figure in mainstream rap of the next generation has presumably been a fantasy of many the rap stan since Jay and Kanye worked together on So Appalled from My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy of last year. At the end of the day, it would’ve been pretty hard to disappoint in this collabo, but I’ll say it anyway: expectations were certainly met. Watch The Throne is easily the strongest rap album of the year and the clash of two of the most creative minds in modern hip hop not only gave us some of the strongest singles of the year with Otis and Niggas in Paris but boasts a platinum certification with over 1,100,000 copies sold. The best of both is brought out in Watch The Throne and after a year of absolutely inane hip hop beefs and a sea of promising newcomers to the mainstream game, every rap pawn is put in his rightful place by the ultimate supremacy of the rap game.  

2011 may not have been a monumental year for the music industry, but boasted some fantastic collaborations, unexpected but celebrated comebacks and a reminder of the importance of stability in one’s career. However, not all artists were so lucky and as you’ll come to find, 2011 also proved to be a year of critical overexposure for new and seasoned acts alike which led to a decrease in quality or quantity of new material, and additionally brought about some comebacks which didn’t quite come up. But for now, let us revel in the success which we have just reflected on and pray we’ll see even more of it in 2012.  

This could go down as one of my most controversial blogs yet but I must step in to mediate the situation which has been going on for almost a decade now, but which has recently spun completely out of control. Kelly Rowland. When you hear the name, you may think of the pretty, sweet R&B singer who was best known for being Beyonce’s number two. However, the name carries much different connotations in the world of standom. The name Kelly Rowland has become associated with basicity, with being second best or with being an all around average player in the game. There’s no denying that Ms. Knowles has always been just a few steps ahead of Kelly in terms of managing her career, knowing her brand and keeping herself on point, but I feel that a case must be made for Kelly’s own status in the world of bad bitches. Note I grouped her with the bad bitches because I am here to dispel the dissenters and defend Ms. Kelly’s honor, as she is without a doubt, an honorary bad bitch. This may come as a surprise to some readers, but hopefully there are people out there who realize that despite the mudslinging from Queen Bey stans and commercial setbacks, Kelly Rowland is ultimately an honorary bad bitch.

I’ll start with why I’ve come to realize that this problem needs intervention. Kelly Rowland is by no means an iconic or legendary singer, and ultimately she’s fallen victim to career complacency as for the majority of her time on the map, she’s been in a comfortable runner up spot, whether it was in Destiny’s Child or her own solo career. But as Kelly has made the rise back into mainstream attention with the summer smash hit Motivation and the sexy, pop&B Here I Am, both of which are Kelly’s best efforts since her 2002 debut as a solo artist (that is, with the exception of Here We Go as a featured artist to the Diamond Princess herself), I have seen an increasing amount of hate and animosity being spewed from Beyonce stans as if Kelly poses some sort of threat towards the woman who has dominated the R&B game for ten years strong now. This is what I don’t understand. Beyonce has unquestionably had every other bad and basic bitch beat, single-handedly (with some help from Daddy Knowles, Jay-Z AND Ms. Kelly) putting the R&B game on a lockdown, and yet, it seems her stans still find the need to throw some serious shade towards Kelly Rowland. With all of this confusing, ill-purposed hating, it’s easy for those stuck in the crossfire to side with the Beyonce stans, after all, they stan for a legend. But what people fail to see are the accomplishments that Kelly Rowland has achieved, which have garnered her honorary bad bitch status.

It’s an easy mistake to make. Kelly Rowland hasn’t exactly had the biggest impact on the R&B game and even in her days with the most successful female group of all time, she was always lingering in the background. For this reason, many people would qualify Kelly as a basic bitch, due to the fact that she made no real effort to come to the forefront, until recently. However, it’s important not to only look at the numbers and figures that Kelly’s achieved and instead look at the material that she has been putting out for the past decade. This is Kelly’s strength. As of now, she has yet to put out a bad album and has consistently delivered strong, R&B albums, starting with her debut with Nelly on 2002’s Dilemma, which earned her a Grammy and gave her the title as the first DC alumnus to achieve major success. Even though she hasn’t always been appreciated stateside, Kelly has always delivered some great, if not somewhat elementary, R&B albums, has one of the best voices in the game (in my opinion) and has continued to give her fandom what they’ve come to expect from her. Her most mediocre efforts, such as her 2007 sophomore album, which flopped that flop in the United States and has gone uncertified selling only 200,000 albums in 5 years, has sold over a million copies worldwide, which brings me to the major point of my argument.

Now, the major hate towards Kelly primarily stems from angry American Beyonce fans who probably wish they were in Destiny’s Child and therefore take it upon themselves to throw mud at almost every artist who has ever come into contact with Queen Bey. However, Kelly remains a prime candidate for the “Most Underrated” superlative. Even though she’s never been able to retain boss bitch status in the United States, she’s never really tried to because Kelendria has made a killing in the international dance scene. From her David Guetta hits Commander and the Grammy winning When Love Takes Over, Kelly has been able to comfortably flaunt her own quality material internationally while respectfully steering clear of Beyonce’s reign over the US of A. It’s the fact that she’s never tried to go after Beyonce’s reign as Queen Bey but has still provided quality material, providing great dance, R&B and pop&B music alike, even in times when commercial success has not matched expectations. She’s been able to establish herself as an artist internationally, never throwing shade at the woman who has and will always have the spotlight of the modern R&B scene and always delivering what is expected of her: quality music. Her somewhat second banana status as an artist and the fact that she’s never quite reached the peak of her own career even with one fantastic voice would suggest that Kelly is a basic bitch, but it’s her consistency, excellence in music and most importantly, understanding of her own place in the music industry that bumps Kelly Rowland up to bad bitch territory.

So the next time you see shade being thrown at Kelendria like it’s a hot August day and she’s a pale girl who’s forgotten her suntan lotion, remember what you’ve learned here today. Kelly Rowland may not be the most innovative artist of her time, and she’s certainly not an iconic commercial success, but her consistency in delivery, personal bests and the fact that she was part of Destiny’s Child, the group that put an end to any other attempts at girl groups in their contemporary time (Blaque anyone?) AND in modern day [Danity Kane, Cherish, Pussycat Dolls, etc], all amount to deserve recognition as an honorary bad bitch. It’s her own strengths, such as knowing where she stands as an artist and a celebrity brand, that make it so easy for hateful stans to pick on Kelly, but at the end of the day, she’s been satisfying her fans and finding her niche since she started out in 2002. Her recent American success with Motivation may have caused Beyonce stans to feel uneasy at the unprecedented success at Kelly, whom was previously thought of as a non-factor, but I’m confident that Kelly will continue what she’s been doing. Despite the rampant contrary beliefs, Kelly Rowland remains the prime example of knowing and succeeding in your niche, and will always hold an honorary position as a bad bitch due to this fact alone.